Switchfoot - On Fire

they tell you where you need to go
tell you when you need to leave
they tell you what you need to know
tell you who you need to be

but everything inside, you know
there's more than what you've heard
there's so much more than empty conversations
filled with empty words

...give me one more time around
give me one more chance to see
give me everything you are
give me one more chance to be near you

when everything inside me
looks like everything I hate
you are the hope I have for change
you are the only chance I'll take

i'm on fire when you're near me
i'm on fire when you speak
i'm on fire // burning at these mysteries...

I'm standing on the edge of me.

---

"Well done, good and faithful servant!" -the master of the house, matt25:21

I finished a book a couple of weeks ago \\ A Life God Rewards - Bruce Wilkinson.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm so fiercely loyal...It must be the cross that i bear. I don't think that i'll ever find this 'true love' that people speak of. At least... not in another person. And, at least... not by being fiercely loyal alone.

Being so fiercely loyal, especially with fickle friends who can change attitude on a whim... it just doesn't make sense. To me, or to anyone. There's no guarantee of... a 'return on investment,' for lack of a better term. But i'll get over it eventually. In the end, God will weigh my efforts in this life, and will reward me accordingly in the next one... i hope. I want the Master of the house to tell me "Well done, good and faithful servant! Come share in your Master's happiness."

None of this is making any sense right now, but i'll post it ayway... ahh well.

Switchfoot - Redemption

4am, two hours to go // i'm wearing out a lonely glow
i miss you more than i could know
here i am // here i am
won't you get me?

i've got my hands // at redemption's side
whose scars are bigger than // these doubts of mine
i'll fit all of these monstrosities inside // and i'll come alive.

with my fist down at your feet // i was running out of mysteries
insecure and incomplete
here I am, here I am,
won't you get me?

i've got my hands // at redemption's side
whose scars are bigger than // these doubts of mine
i'll fit all of these monstrosities inside // and i'll come alive.

my fears have worn me out.

---

with my fist down at your feet... i'll come alive.

a comment i made here, to the monday, feb. 14th /05 blog ...posting in case the blog author decides to remove the post it stemmed from.

"...Make your relationship with God your ONLY worry." Randell hit the nail on the head...exactly what all of us (semi-)regular commenters have been trying to persuade you accept. Persuade to accept? Yes. You already KNOW this stuff we say, you KNOW that it's true, but you refuse to feel it in your heart. You refuse to BELIEVE it with the core of your being. You refuse to LIVE it out.

"He is giving you all these trials and tribulations so that He can bring you CLOSER to Him." Ricardo hammers the point doubly-so. You are very far from Him right now, and armorless... There is only so much fighting that your brothers and sisters can do for you. We are all willing to help and to FIGHT, but in the end... we all still have our own battlefronts where God is sending us, and testing our strength. Allow me to quote my own blog for a moment.

"It's in the rough times that God tests where we put our faith... in Him? or in other stuff? No, He doesn't WANT me to be sad / mopey / teary-eyed / (insert negative emotion here) all the time, but sometimes... He introduces it into my life because it's the only way for Him to communicate to me...that i'm not being obedient to Him in some area[s] of my life. That there's something i'm not letting go of. That HIS plan and MY plan are different.

But once i'm in His arms, and i've vented whatever negative emotions up to Him, and I've run out of words to say... He can softly whisper the instructions of His plan for me."

Now don't miss the point: "vented upwards to Him." You've got to start there, with your relationship with God... and with nothing else.

[Jesus, in John 15:1-6. Read each line carefully.]
"He cuts off every branch in Me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit...He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.
Remain in Me, and I will remain in you.
No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine.
Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me.
I am the vine, you are the branches.
If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit,
apart from Me, man can do nothing.
If anyone does not remain in Me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers;
such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned."

Being cut off from the vine... from God, or from the community in general... Don't decide to cut yourself off from the only people who would have even an INKLING of understanding of your circumstance, your feelings, AND your faith.

"Don't wait for God to go to drastic measures to get your attention...He will do ANYTHING to get your focus back to Him." Ricardo's right again; things will only get worse the more you put God on the shelf. God is an attention-hog... but deservedly so, don't you think?

This is the year of choice, as i've said before. Don't think we still don't understand what you go through, or what you feel. We have all been there, and we all lapse into those feelings from time to time (for the reasons stated in my blog). My only worry now is that you become numb to the feelings, and develop a sense of apathy towards everything... satan will win you over for a long time, if that ever happens.

Praying for you is exhausting work. It's time you decided to pray with us, so you can claim the wonders God has for YOU in this life, and for you alone.

Switchfoot - 24

24 oceans // 24 skies
24 failures // 24 tries
24 finds me // in 24th place
24 dropouts // at the end of the day.

life is not what i thought it was // 24 hours ago.
still, i'm singing // "spirit, take me up in arms with you."
and i'm not who i thought i was // 24 hours ago.
still, i'm singing // "spirit, take me up in arms with you."

24 reasons // to admit that i'm wrong
with all my excuses // still 24 strong.
see i'm not copping out // not copping out
not copping out // when you're raising the dead in me.

i am the 2nd man // i am the 2nd man now
i am the 2nd man now // and you're raising these...

24 voices // with 24 hearts
and all of my symphonies // in 24 parts
but i want to be one today // centered and true
i'm singing, // "spirit, take me up in arms with you."
you're raising the dead in me.

i am the 2nd man // i am the 2nd man now
i am the 2nd man now // and you're raising the dead in me.

i want to see miracles // to see the world change
wrestled the angel // for more than a name
for more than a feeling // for more than a cause
i'm singing, // "spirit, take me up in arms with you."
and you're raising the dead in me.

24 voices // with 24 hearts
with all of my symphonies // in 24 parts
life is not what i thought it was // 24 hours ago
still, i'm singing, // "spirit, take me up in arms..."

i'm not copping out // not copping out
not copping out.

---

life is not what i thought it was 24 hours ago.