new beginning pt. 2 // the price of the vision pt. 2

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she once told me that caring for someone means caring for them in the way they want and need to be cared for, and not in the way that *i want to care for them.
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a couple of years later -- and things haven't changed. the one who started everything ended everything a long time ago... for sure, there where happy moments in between... i will take up the cross.
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...thank you, Lord, for revealing myself to me. I think back now, and marvel at how quickly You answered my call. You've shown me such miracles in people's absence; a joy that i've never felt before. Thank you for new beginnings!
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From: *****
Sent: Friday, July 14, 2006 12:37 PM
To: Brian Padua
Subject: RE: the price of the vision


do not mistake this reply as an invitation back into my immediate life and
innermost circle of friends.. you were the one that locked the door when you
thew our years of friendship into my face.
when i call out to you when i see you on the street it is because you are an
acquaintance and you were once one i considered best friend .. it's because
of those years of true friendship where friendship-love was exchanged for
friendship-love and not as insurance and down payment for friendship in the
future. whether it is your intent to become close as we were before or not,
you should know the doors are shut. i have oft times been accused of jumping
the gun, and whether or not that is the case here, i can only be as honest
to you now as i have been honest with you before, and as honest as i can be
to my own reactions upon receiving this email from you. it's nice to say hi
when we should meet on the street - but a chat over coffee is not
necessary. however, thanks none-the-less for the thoughts. focus on God
because that is what you are meant to do. forget trying to mend/forge a new
friendship with me. i do not see the possibility. i haven't died to you -
and perhaps i should. if i have misinterpreted.. do not correct me. pray
for me. and please do not reply to this email.

in repsonse to your question: i do not believe in soulmates. i believe in
differences.


>From: "Brian Padua"
>To: *****
>Subject: the price of the vision
>Date: Thu, 13 Jul 2006 15:32:52 -0400
>
>In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord . . . -Isaiah 6:1
>
>"Our soul's personal history with God is often an account of the death
>of our heroes. Over and over again God has to remove our friends to put
>Himself in their place, and that is when we falter, fail, and become
>discouraged. Let me think about this personally- when the person died
>who represented for me all that God was, did I give up on everything in
>life? Did I become ill or disheartened? Or did I do as Isaiah did and
>see the Lord?"
>
>-my utmost for his highest, 07.13.06
>-http://www.rbc.org/utmost/index.php?month=07&day=13&year=06
>
>
>
>This reminded me of you, so I just thought I'd say hi. Maybe we'll see
>each other sometime, ya? There's lots we could catch up on! Coffee will
>be on me.
>
>Thanks for everything...and in advance, =)
>-brian
>
>
>
>PS - did you ever believe in the idea of the soulmate?