forgiveness vs. trust

in response.

Jesus calls us (expects us!) to forgive instantly, but doesn't expect us to trust instantly... how could anyone (even Jesus!) expect me to trust someone who would continually hurt me -- God didn't create me to be someone else's doormat, right? how does allowing myself to be hurt continually bring Him glory? but that doesn't mean that I should withhold forgiving them...

forgiveness is about letting go of a past hurt; trust has to do with future behaviour. Those who break trust must prove that they are worthy of that trust in good friendship & fellowship. Practically speaking (beyond the 'eternal' aspects), forgiveness tells the other person, "prove to me (again) that you are worthy of my trust." And if, in that testing-time, they hold "a good track record" in your eyes, trust comes naturally. You'll never find yourself asking, "Do I trust this person? Am I ready to trust them again?" Those are questions of an insecure person, who is unsure (unbelieving!) of the immediate and eternal rewards to be gained by forgiveness. And you both find that after giving and receiving forgiveness -- by letting go, by the laying-down-of-pride -- it was one of the most rewarding decisions you ever made.

Trust is something else, but the point is that it all starts with forgiveness.

If forgiveness is the issue -- "is it better to be right, or to be kind?"
If trusting the other person is the issue -- "are my own actions trustworthy?" I personally try to follow the Golden Rule; even though not everyone "plays by the rules," all i know is that Jesus did it anyway. Though his teaching may be difficult to follow sometimes, who else would i follow -- where else could i go? (Gospel from last Sunday).

"TIME IS NOT OURS TO WASTE."

"...our Father is rich! so ask..."

-lissa untalan (sfc full-time pastoral worker), clp training @ cfc office, 8.27.06, 4:30pm

*Un*realities

In response to this blog:

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"...instead of taking it as it is, im taking it as a thousand different things..."

Jonas recommended "The Screwtape Letters" (C.S. Lewis) to me a while back. When I passed by Coles at STC yesterday, I opened a random chapter (15), knowing what the basic premise was (as a collection of letters addressed from a demon to a demon-in-training.)

Believe me -- I also needed this (weird kind of) reminder to always live in the Present time. It's all about Emotional Purity, ya?

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"The Humans live in time but our Enemy destines them for eternity. He therefore...wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself, and to that point of time which they call the Present... in it alone freedom and actuality are offered to them (by the Enemy). He would therefore have them continually concerned with eternity (concerned with Him), or with the Present -- meditating on their eternal union with, or separation from, Himself, or else obeying the present voice of conscience, bearing the present cross, receiving the present grace, giving thanks for the present pleasure.

"Our business is to get them away from the eternal, and from the Present... Biological necessity makes all their passions point in that direction already, so that thought about the Future inflames hope and fear... In making them think about (the Future) we make them think of unrealities. In a word, the Future is, of all things, the least like eternity. It is the most completely temporal part of time -- for the past is frozen and no longer flows, and the Present is all lit up with eternal rays.

"...the Enemy wants men to think about the future too -- just so much as is necessary for now planning the acts of justice or charity which will probably be their duty tomorrow. The duty of planning the morrow's work is today's duty; though its material is borrowed from the future, the duty, like all duties, is in the Present... He does not want men to give the Future their hearts, to place their treasure in it. We do. ...We want a man hag-ridden by the Future -- haunted by visions of an imminent heaven or hell upon earth -- (who is) ready to break the enemy's commands in the Present if by doing so we make him think he can attain the one or avert the other... ...We want a whole race perpetually in pursuit of the rainbow's end, never honest, nor kind, nor happy now...

"It follows then, in general, and all things being equal, that it is better for your patient to be filled with anxiety or hope (it doesn't much matter which)... than for him to be living in the present. ...Your man may be untroubled about the Future, not because he is concerned with the Present, but because he as persuaded himself that the Future is going to be agreeable. As long as that is the real cause of his tranquillity, his tranquillity will do us good, because it is only piling up more disappointment, and therefore, more impatience, for him when his false hopes are dashed."

-C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters (chapter 15 excerpts, bold/underline emphasis mine))

this is what i came home to.

the only question left is... "when?"


"gawad pag-ibig, gawad kalinga..."

Are You Discouraged or Devoted?

...Jesus...said to him, ’You still lack one thing. Sell all that you have...and come, follow Me.’ But when he heard this, he became very sorrowful, for he was very rich —Luke 18:22-23

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Have you ever heard the Master say something very difficult to you? If you haven’t, I question whether you have ever heard Him say anything at all. Jesus says a tremendous amount to us that we listen to, but do not actually hear. And once we do hear Him, His words are harsh and unyielding.

Jesus did not show the least concern that this rich young ruler should do what He told him, nor did Jesus make any attempt to keep this man with Him. He simply said to him, "Sell all that you have . . . and come, follow Me." Our Lord never pleaded with him; He never tried to lure him— He simply spoke the strictest words that human ears have ever heard, and then left him alone.

Have I ever heard Jesus say something difficult and unyielding to me? Has He said something personally to me to which I have deliberately listened— not something I can explain for the sake of others, but something I have heard Him say directly to me? This man understood what Jesus said. He heard it clearly, realizing the full impact of its meaning, and it broke his heart. He did not go away as a defiant person, but as one who was sorrowful and discouraged. He had come to Jesus on fire with zeal and determination, but the words of Jesus simply froze him. Instead of producing enthusiastic devotion to Jesus, they produced heartbreaking discouragement. And Jesus did not go after him, but let him go. Our Lord knows perfectly well that once His word is truly heard, it will bear fruit sooner or later. What is so terrible is that some of us prevent His words from bearing fruit in our present life. I wonder what we will say when we finally make up our minds to be devoted to Him on that particular point? One thing is certain — He will never throw our past failures back in our faces.

-my utmost for his highest, 06.17.06



...lord, please allow me not to quench the fire of your spirit.

The Holy Suffering of the Saint

Let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good . . . —1 Peter 4:19

Choosing to suffer means that there must be something wrong with you, but choosing God’s will— even if it means you will suffer— is something very different. No normal, healthy saint ever chooses suffering; he simply chooses God’s will, just as Jesus did, whether it means suffering or not. And no saint should ever dare to interfere with the lesson of suffering being taught in another saint’s life.

The saint who satisfies the heart of Jesus will make other saints strong and mature for God. But the people used to strengthen us are never those who sympathize with us; in fact, we are hindered by those who give us their sympathy, because sympathy only serves to weaken us. No one better understands a saint than the saint who is as close and as intimate with Jesus as possible. If we accept the sympathy of another saint, our spontaneous feeling is, "God is dealing too harshly with me and making my life too difficult." That is why Jesus said that self-pity was of the devil (see Matthew 16:21-23). We must be merciful to God’s reputation. It is easy for us to tarnish God’s character because He never argues back; He never tries to defend or vindicate Himself. Beware of thinking that Jesus needed sympathy during His life on earth. He refused the sympathy of people because in His great wisdom He knew that no one on earth understood His purpose (see Matthew 16:23). He accepted only the sympathy of His Father and the angels (see Luke 15:10).

Look at God’s incredible waste of His saints, according to the world’s judgment. God seems to plant His saints in the most useless places. And then we say, "God intends for me to be here because I am so useful to Him." Yet Jesus never measured His life by how or where He was of the greatest use. God places His saints where they will bring the most glory to Him, and we are totally incapable of judging where that may be.

- my utmost for his highest, august.10.06

a peek into the current life of brian p.

-currently in physical sickness-
...Let us also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. (Romans 5:3-5).

-because "the juice is worth the squeeze"-
...Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)

-because He works where He sends us to wait-
"...tarry...until ..." (Luke 24:49). "Wait on the Lord" and He will work(Psalm 37:34 ). But don’t wait sulking spiritually and feeling sorry for yourself, just because you can’t see one inch in front of you! Are we detached enough from our own spiritual fits of emotion to "wait patiently for Him"? (Psalm 37:7). Waiting is not sitting with folded hands doing nothing, but it is learning to do what we are told. (excerpt from My Utmost for His Highest, August 1 (emphsis mine))