patience...

"Patience bears the sweetest fruit."

-tita evelou "love" mosley (cfc-hold, bermuda)

so i've extended my stay here in bermuda. although i'm missing one extra day at work, one day of school, and my mom's birthday. as mom said when i asked for advice, "it's a once-in-a-lifetime experience" to be here and to serve here.

i didn't have a camera by my side this time
hoping i would see the world with both my eyes
maybe i will tel you all about it when i'm in the mood
to lose my way // but let me say
you should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes
it brought me back to life
you'll be with me next time i go outside
no more 3x5s



......6 months? 6 days is already hard. I'm not going to ask you why You're asking me to stay here longer, but i've really no better choice in this life than to put my trust in You. Please purify my love and my intentions. Please grant me patience in all things, and boldness in your promise!

You Are Not Your Own (excerpr)

'...Why shouldn’t we experience heartbreak? Through those doorways God is opening up ways of fellowship with His Son. Most of us collapse at the first grip of pain. We sit down at the door of God’s purpose and enter a slow death through self-pity. And all the so-called Christian sympathy of others helps us to our deathbed. But God will not. He comes with the grip of the pierced hand of His Son, as if to say, "Enter into fellowship with Me; arise and shine." If God can accomplish His purposes in this world through a broken heart, then why not thank Him for breaking yours?'

-utmost, nov. 1st

...still trying to catch up to Him (with my readings).

but then again, aren't we all trying to catch up to Him with just about everything?

CHANGE

not mine. credit is below:

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"I've been thinking about something lately.

Imagine this:

You're on an airplane, sleeping with your head against the window, your heart set on being home this time three hours from now. All of a sudden, something goes very wrong. The plane stops moving across the air and instead starts falling through it. The lights are flickering and the movie is skipping. The plane dips hundreds of feet in seconds, and the yellow cups fall from the ceiling. They're a brighter shade of yellow than you remember, because unlike the demonstration, these cups have never been handled before. "Flight attendants take your seats now", you hear, the pilot's voice trembling over a cacophony of alert tones. You get that smell in the bridge of your nose like you've just been hit with a football. That's what the fear smells like. The plane is going down.

Four more drastic drops in under a minute. People are crying. For all the folklore about how your life flashes before your eyes, you're remarkably fixed on one vision - your parents. They're sleeping at this very moment, in a bedroom so quiet they can hear the clock in the kitchen. And you can see them, clear as can be. You wish you could see a playground or a first kiss, but all you can see is your parents sleeping. Huh. Well, that's that.

Several long minutes go by. Then, all at once, the lights come back on and the plane somehow rights itself. Some people cheer, but most people cry harder. The plane lands about an hour later, and as soon as you feel that touch down - hell, even when you were within 50 feet of the ground and could still technically survive a fall - you realize that however you brokered the deal between you and God worked; you've just been granted life in overtime.

Here's the question: what do you change? Whom do you call that you haven't spoken to in years? Whom do you realize has been toxic to your heart and drop with surprising ease? What trips do you cancel, and what trips do you book? What can't you be bothered with anymore? What's the new you like?

Think about that, and then ask one more question. Why not just change it all right now?"

- www.johnmayer.com/blog, october 29th (emphasis mine)

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...bda it is, then. even if only for a few days. You know, God, You've spoken to a lot of people through John.