.one of the few questions that matter.

[ [ from the fischtank, dec 7 /'07, emphasis mine. ] ]


'Lord, what would you have me to do?'
by John Fischer

My wife stopped me short the other day when she asked me a very basic question for which I had no answer. It involved an assumption that I have been operating under for some time. She asked me if I had checked in with God about it. I was dumbfounded. Well, of course God wants me to do this; it's what I've been doing all along. Yes, but did I get it from Him, or is this what I want to do and assume He is going along with it? The fact that I had to think about my answer told most of the story.

It should be fundamental to every follower of Christ to ask, "Does God want me to do this?"

Much has been made of the question: "What would Jesus do?" But the question is largely irrelevant. Not only is it pure speculation, it has nothing to do with me. I'm not Jesus. Even if I could determine what Jesus would do in a certain situation, what would that have to do with me? I need to find out what God wants me to do.

We need to learn to ask this question of ourselves and of those we love. Either way it will take a good deal of faith. Yesterday our daughter called us from Colorado facing a big decision and seeking our advice. Though we had strong feelings about what we thought she should do, Marti wisely said instead, "What is God telling you? Ask Him, and you will know." I thought that was pretty trusting, and pretty brave of her. It's much easier to try and control and manipulate someone than to genuinely send them to the Lord.

Now I know what you're thinking: "So how does God tell you? How do you find out what He wants you to do?" Why not try asking Him? I honestly think we are so caught up in trying to figure out how to find the will of God, that we never simply go to Him and ask Him what it is! I mean there are volumes of books on the subject of finding the will of God, when the answer basically comes down to asking Him.

Jesus was always telling us that we lack because we fail to ask. Why wouldn't that apply to the basic questions of our lives? "Lord, what would you have me to do?" The answer may take some time. It may take some wrestling. But that's better than living on assumptions. Ask me, I know.

.because it's been far too long.

i've (re-)realized that time is the one resource i have that i must spend wisely. i am sorry that i have not given time to some friends who have trusted me with their time. to friends who have spent time to share things with me over the past few... years. i do intend to share some time with you -- coffee, phone, email, random mall or bus meeting -- and so even if it's short, it will be time well spent. i have not forgetten you. in fact, i have often thought about you. all of you.
i have been praying about a lot of things over the past few months. and deeply -- throughout my two-week stay in Fort McMurray, and since returning two days ago. (I will tell you all about it when I'm in the mood to lose my way with words.)

i've learned that...though i thought i had many questions since the previous note, i've realized that -- in truth -- there are few questions that are worth asking (now). many of those questions were answered long ago. other answers i simply refused to accept because they hurt. because i refused to believe that i could hurt [(others)]. that i could be a source of lasting hurt. that i could simply be unbearable.

i do believe in growth, though. i hope that i am growing the way that God intends. and if it's anything like jesus... i hope that i my bear my intended burden to the end.

i may fast, but the devil doesn't eat.
i may pray without ceasing, but he doesn't sleep.
i may study my scriptures, but he knows them cover-to-cover.
but i may bear humility... and against it, he is powerless.

...and with the few questions that have remained, the start of the search begins simply. and ends simply.

...in the next blog. will you all join me in its prayer?